You thought you had them beat. But the enemy forces that threaten your bathroom’s cleanliness were still on the prowl. Now it’s time to flush them out of this world forever.
Or, at least until the next time you have to clean when you’re short in cash to hire someone for apartment cleaning Chicago.
Take A Seat, Toilet Scum
STEALTHY TOILET SEAT SCUM
It’s not just the battle in the bowl you have to fight. The war is won with a thorough cleaning. Someone has to have the strength left to get in there and clean under the seat.
You need special, superhero tools for this job. Or, just a screwdriver. Either way, take off the seat and clean it, and where it was attached, thoroughly. Use whatever it takes. Baking soda and vinegar, rubbing alcohol, a flamethrower…
Ok, the last one might be too much fire power (get it?) but believe you me the toilet seat and where it’s attached is a nasty foe to defeat. Wear a mask; keep the fan on and windows open if you can. Use bleach or ammonia and an old toothbrush to scrub away the scum. And be sure to wipe it all off completely along with the base and the floor around you when you’re done. Try also to do a quick cleaning with your hallway going to the bathroom for a complete set of cleaning from inside to the outside! Here’s a lineup of the best vacuum cleaners for you to help you when cleaning the floor.
A Brush with Dirty Disaster
CLEAN YOUR TOILET BRUSH WITH A FINE-TOOTHED COMB
The brush you use to clean your toilet is, well, the brush you use to clean your toilet. We all know what goes in there. If you don’t, use your superhero powers and take a guess.
That brush is your ally, but what sticks to it is an old, tough enemy to defeat. Show your ally, and your heart and lungs, some respect by boiling some water while you’re brushing out your toilet bowel. When you’re done scrubbing, wedge the handle of the brush between the toilet seat and the rim of the base, and pour the boiling water over the brush.
After that, you can douse it with rubbing alcohol mixed with an essential oil of your choice. Then pour boiling water over it again. Let it air dry and only return it to its holder when it’s fully dry.
You can also soak the brush holder outside in a bucket of hot water and bleach.
Trash Talk Your Enemy Into Submission
HOLY ODORS, BATMAN!
Did your trashcan lose that new-can smell? I can’t believe I asked that. Of course it did – it’s where you put your trash. It’s where you dispose of everything you don’t want or need, and then let someone else clean it up for you.
And no, it is not the local sports bar. Although… No, it’s just your trashcan. It’s neutral – but is still an undefended territory where enemy odors can infiltrate overnight.
Literally, overnight. As-in the same night after you put something in it.
The enemy moves fast and settles in undercover. You have to do recon and take preventative measure for the next smelly invasion.
Earlier in the day, you were sitting at the café, hiding your face with a newspaper so supervillains couldn’t see you. I’m glad you brought that paper home, because you’re going to need it.
Call up baking soda on the BS phone. Or shine a light in the sky that has a big, “BS” symbol. Either way, baking soda will come to the rescue.
While it’s en route, wash out your trashcan with hot, soapy water and rinse with a hose. Then, post-arrival, and once the can is dry, pour baking soda liberally on the bottom of the can. Then put layers of your secret, invisibility newspaper on top of it. Then add a liner and/or a trash bag.
Your odorous enemy will be defeated and not be able to regain strength for weeks or months to come.
If your trash can is made of wicker, or wood, or something it should be because it’s in a bathroom, then clean it up as per applicable directions, sterilize it with an appropriate solution as well then use a liner.
You Can’t Make This Up
BUT YOU CAN LOOK GREAT TRYING
Organization is key to all superpowers. That, and the ability to fly, the ability to shoot fireballs and read minds, and the ability to find your [email protected][email protected] makeup when you’re in a huge rush!
Ok, so you’re a little disorganized. And very, very late. But… You’re also gorgeous, powerful and magnetic. Use that magnetic power to help make getting ready for work or going out that much easier.
Digging through makeup bags or boxes is so 2072. Wait… Never mind, we’ll deal with time traveling next article.
Hang a magnet board on the bathroom wall, in a walk-in closet, in your bedroom or even in the little space in the hallway outside the bathroom door. You can attach small magnets to your makeup items and voilà! You’ve got a super-powered, magic magnet makeup board ready to go when you are. Whenever that will be. Ahem.
Warning: Tiny Metal Objects Will Be Harder to Find That You Thought
DON’T TEXT AND GET DRESSED AT THE SAME TIME!
Bobby pins, safety pins, earrings and basically anything tiny and shiny you need to have “now” will disappear as fast as you can text “OMG” to your BFF.
Even your super x-ray vision won’t be enough to find them. They travel to dimensions so unexplored and remote that even lost socks never heard of them.
Use that magnetic charm and hang a smaller magnet board in your medicine cabinet or on a bathroom wall. Triumphantly toss those tiny escape artists onto that board and pat yourself on the back for saving the world yet again. Or, at least, for saving yourself some time.
Cut The Head Off of the Enemy
It’s not a torture. It’s enhanced sanitation techniques. Your shower head wants to pretend it’s innocent and not a double agent.
But your super gut feeling is telling you something different. And so are your super eyes, and super lungs. Sure, it helps you get clean. But that’s just a disguise. Your showerhead is hiding dirty secrets inside of it.
Get tough. It’s the only way to extract the enemy within it. Fill a plastic grocery bag (one with handles) with vinegar and tie that bag around the showerhead. Show no mercy. Make sure the entire showerhead is submerged.
Then leave it alone with its misguided thoughts all night long.
Trust me. Come the morning, that showerhead will be ready to talk. Just run hot water through it for a few minutes before showering to remind it of its mistakes, and to make sure it’s fully converted back to the light.
GREEN FOR A DAY, GREEN FOR A LIFETIME
You can’t beat a natural born champion. Green is the color of modern day superhero homeowners who are fighting each day to keep their homes clean… and safe.
Lemon, vinegar, essential oils, baking soda, pumice stones, mineral salts, hydrogen peroxide, salt, castile soaps and more are all powerful allies in the fight against filth.
Keep fighting the good fight. The battle is won once again; at least until next spring.
Or until your mom comes for a visit just so she could find out that her little girl is not ready yet for adulting. 😛
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