Okay, now you all know that I’m a serial dater, you may be curious about the difference between dating the nice guy and the bad boy… And if you’re not curious, then it’s fine because I’m gonna write about this topic anyway. 😛
I only started dating since I was in the 12th year of high school, but ever since then, I’ve pretty much dated most types of the guy. Started by an asshole who cheated on me with 2 other girls, to some good guy whom my mom loved so much to the point she kept wondering what was actually wrong in our relationship.
Looking at the fact that I’m single, of course we all know that I’m not an expert at dating. But experience-wise, at least I could tell you all the differences between dating what society considers ‘nice guy’ and ‘bad boy’ in our 20s.
Dating In Your 20s
Well, when it comes to dating in your 20s, I think more often than not, the pressure comes from the society. Especially when you live in a place like Indonesia where people tend to expect you to settle down and get married in some certain age.
The result? You feel like dating is more of a necessity rather than doing it to find out whether he/she is a good companion for you.
I personally don’t have any certain type when it comes to the opposite sex that I’m attracted to. Well, I always have a thing to chubby guys but then most of the guys I dated are either fit or skinny so it doesn’t really count.
So, how is it dating with a nice guy different than dating with the bad guy?
The Nice Guy
Whether you realize it or not, there’s always some nice guys around us. Some of them think they get friend zoned if they actually like you and you don’t reciprocate. If you end up dating them, then you probably know it anyway.
I used to date a nice guy in my early 20s. He was everything that my mom dreamt of. *laughing hard and dry 😀
I mean, I wouldn’t blame my mom for actually falling for him (probably harder than I was 😛 ) … He’s the kind of guy who’s totally dreamy. In my case, he was excellent at school and eventually got a great job in Tokyo. And if it doesn’t sound dreamy enough, he’s also the kind of person who prays 5 times a day. He’s a Muslim, and my Mom is a devout Muslim so that’s absolutely a plus.
But nobody is perfect, and neither is he. Or maybe the fact that both of us are not meant to be together that made our relationship torn apart. Am I sorry for that? Not really.
I think the reason why the relationship didn’t work was not solely because we are not made for each other, but also my insecurity that played somehow a big role in the relationship.
While he sounds a little way too dreamy as a person, I’m the opposite of all the things he is. I had to repeat some of the classes for the sake of graduating university.
Despite the passion that I had for my study, I was just a mediocre student dating a guy who was not only nice but also a straight-A student. He graduated with cum laude when the only benefit of dating me is that I could cum loud. 😛
I was younger back in the days, and eventually, we had to deal with a long distance relationship, we couldn’t make it. And neither it would work should we both tried. I’m not too sure since I feel like most of the time, I couldn’t feel content when I was being myself around him.
Why? Because he was too nice and I was just being me.
The Bad Boy
At some point in their lives, I think every girl got this situation where they actually fell for some bad boy materials. Maybe it’s the guy who failed almost all classes during high school, or maybe it’s the guy in the university who you know too well that he’s a heartbreaker but you still fall for him anyway. Or maybe he’s the combination of both?
Well, I used to date the guy in this category for around 1.5 years before we called it quit.
Surprisingly, everything went well until I realized that my friends didn’t like him for some reason that I didn’t know. Maybe it’s some gossip they heard from some other people, maybe it’s the way his humor couldn’t fit theirs.
It affected me so much to the point it affected my relationship.
I know, I know… You should do whatever that makes you happy. But it’s not always the case.
Sometimes how others perceive you or your partner could affect you so much, especially when the other is some important people in your life who you also love.
You understand that they don’t want to see you get hurt, but then you are the one who’s a part of the relationship with your partner. So, to whom should you look into?
I chose my friends. Maybe a little disappointed, but maybe it’s just the way for us to separate before shit got worse because of something else.
So, nice guy or bad boy?
As someone who doesn’t really have some ‘certain’ type when it comes to dating, I think dating a nice guy or a bad boy has its own perks. But one thing that I understand the most about dating someone, or even befriending people, in general, is this: always trust the vibes of the people.
Why? Because energy never lies.
I mean, to be fair, you might have a thing to nice guys only to end up settling down with some random bad boy in the corner. You’ll never know if you don’t open your heart to something new.
How about you? How do you perceive the nice guy and the bad boy? If you’re currently in a relationship, which one is your partner?! Give me a shout, and cheerio! 😀
Marya! This made me laugh. It’s just too relatable. I dated a nice guy for four years, my parents still think him as part of the family and he is one of my best friends. But as a romantic relationship, we just didn’t work. I think he just didn’t challenge me enough and was always just too nice. This post is too great, so happy I found your blog <3
Candice!!!! Tell me about it, my mom actually messaged my ex on facebook without telling me about anything, I felt betrayed by my own mom. And thank you, so glad we got connected! <3