4 Times When I Question Myself Whether I Am Actually Happy Being Single

Okay, so yesterday my sister went to spend her weekend for trekking and I was left home alone all night long.

The downside part of this event that I eventually felt a little lonely, even though I am one of those people who would find it glorious to have the apartment all by myself. And for exactly the same reason, came an idea to write this piece as in I want to talk about some times that make me question myself whether I actually am happy being single.

As you may already know, I often install and delete some dating apps on my phone only to reinstall it some time later because that’s how sucky my dating life has been in the past few years. Some date, it went alright while some others went pretty disappointing as well, but anyway…

As much as I want to pretend myself that I’m a happy single, independent woman, then there are times when it’s not always like that… There are times when I wonder whether people out there actually could see the benefits of dating a girl that travels and all that. So, here we go!

1. That time when I’m home alone and I realize that I’ve been home alone for way too many times.

Okay, so like I mentioned before… I’m the kind of person who would normally glorify the situation of being alone at home.

But then there are times when I feel like, damn, if I weren’t single, maybe I’d have some companion to do some debauchery spend some times together with. Like maybe it doesn’t have to be this lonely.

I mean, it happened last night when I was all alone at home and I couldn’t think straight because the next thing I knew, I was actually crying as I remember that Disco has passed away already.

At that time, I’m not too sure whether I was crying because I don’t know how to cope with the loss of my beloved one, in this case, Disco, or it was because I was lonely.

2. That time when I have to do some chores only to realize that I’m tired and I’ve got no one to help me, even to open a door for me or something.

As you may have known already, I stay in Jakarta with my sister in a really small apartment. Well, don’t you even dare to think of us living in some fancy penthouse because our apartment is as small as 32 meters square.

Sounds like it’s easier for me to do some chores alone? Well, practically yes.

But then when you have to do it by yourself, it’s pretty annoying when you need to take out some trash to the garbage room and you realize that no one would open the door for you because you’re all alone.

So then all you gotta do is to put down the trash and open the door for yourself. Next, you have to repeat it all over again. This time, you need to close the door for the sake of your room’s safety and security.

I mean sure, I’m too old and lazy to actually count this as an exercise. *lol*

Despite how lonely does it sound, I have to admit that there’s some glory about doing chores when you’re alone though. Like, you know… You don’t have to feel annoyed some time later because there’s some other person who would totally mess everything up again after you doing some chores.

Well, as much as I love living with my sister, sometimes I hate it when I just mopped the floor and she would walk around like I didn’t have to be sweaty to clean it. 🙁

3. That time when I have to do some groceries and end up with so many heavy bags in my hand.

This has been the case. Doing some groceries alone always makes me reflect myself to tell me that I can’t be single forever. Why? Because I need someone to actually help me carry those bags.

When it comes to grocery, I could be so impulsive.

And despite living in an apartment that’s only 3 floors above the supermarket and there’s some elevator too, carrying heavy bags is simply the way to make me realize that being a feminist doesn’t always mean I don’t need a man in my life. *giggling in drought*

And when you think about it, when you have to buy everything alone, it feels so expensive too so yeah…

4. That time when I eat alone, and some random people actually approach me to make a small talk.

One thing that I always wonder is that why people tend to think that I’m courageous when they know that I get used to travel solo as a woman, but then whenever they see me eating somewhere, they always think that I need some company.

You know, sometimes I eat alone just for the sake of being able to eat the food religiously by myself. Now that they approach me and make some small talk, I have to politely offer them when I don’t really want to. Like, what if they say yes? 😛

But then again, there are also some times when I feel like I want to buy something in a big portion and I’ve got no one to share it with me. The case is always like this: if I buy it, it’s rather over my meals budget and I’m not too sure whether I can finish it alone. But if I don’t, I want it.

Why do I have to make things complicated? That, I don’t know. But shit like that happens. A lot of times.

And it just recently happened as I’m here at some cafe around my apartment, and I wanted to have this fried banana with chocolate and cheese. And it could take a village to finish a portion of it. Haha, I’m kidding because I’ve finished it alone although I partially feel guilty to finish it. 😛

So, that’s it for the today’s rants…

Are you a single woman like I am who thinks that you’re happy all alone but then bam, something happened that makes you feel otherwise? Tell me what that is in the comment section below, and cheerio! 😀

4 Times When I Question Myself Whether I Am Actually Happy Being Single - The BeauTraveler

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