2020 For Me: The Losses, The Gains, and What’s Left Behind This Weird Year

2020 is almost over, and you know what this post is all about!

In the early 2000s, when I started blogging on LiveJournal (does it still exist?), my first intention was to have a platform to pour my heart out through writing. And that’s what I want to do now, to write something a tad personal. I write this for myself than for any visitors who come across my blog.

As much as I agree that we shouldn’t look back and just move forward to be a better version of ourselves, I always think it’s also important to know what we did in the past and how we can change things to make it better in the future.

So, after writing about how 2020 had been so far back in June, this is the post where I will reflect on the entire 2020 for me now it’s almost over.

This isn’t the year where I should put a lot of pressure on myself for the goals that I set earlier this year in my resolutions. I think it’s fair to say that this year is the year when I should be grateful that I’ve survived this weird year.

Some of my goals failed for some reasons, but I guess it’s okay since I’m old enough to understand that life isn’t perfect and not everything I want could come true. I’m not that naive anymore.

So, what have I lost, gained, and left behind in 2020?!

My Losses in 2020

Earlier this year, I got so motivated to enter the new decade after having some ups and downs in the last 10 years.

Well, I gotta say… After spending almost a year being in the quarantine that I could probably count how many times I went out after experiencing some mishaps in my last Indochina trip earlier this year.

You see, I’ve lost some things that I had in my resolutions for this year. While I can’t have it this year, I’ll see if I can get it later in the future during this decade.

a small house with trees in its surrounding.
Source: Unsplash.

I’ve canceled my mortgage application for the house that I wanted to buy this year.

My application got delayed earlier this year due to coronavirus. I don’t know the process of mortgage in the other parts of the world, but here in Indonesia, almost everything is done manually.

So in order to get my application approved, the bank needs to do verification manually, including the company that I work for. The social security, if any, is scattered here so there’s no such thing as the ease of having everything in one place. And I got a problem as the bank had some difficulties to verify my employment status to the office that I’ve been working for the past three years due to the sudden ‘work-from-home‘ policy because of the virus.

I paid the booking fee for the house that I wanted earlier this year. I’ve lost around $300 for the booking fee, which is not refundable. It was hard when I decided to cancel my mortgage application, but I think due to the situation while my income has been slightly declining in the past couple of months, it’s only fair for me to let go of another potential debt.

The failure of launching the new business line with my (then) boyfriend.

So yes, I was planning to launch a new line of business with my ex earlier this year. And it came to dust as I figured I didn’t want to be his partner. Not professionally, neither romantically. So that was it.

But what I’ve lost in this area, I’ve gained in another so I’m honestly not so disappointed in that decision.

I mean, sure it sucks to accept the fact that I may have to eventually die alone. But hey, at least I don’t have to spend the rest of my life with the wrong person. So I guess it’s a gain for me somewhat?!

a carefree lady.
Source: Unsplash.

My Gains in 2020

You know what I’m grateful for 2020?! Despite the weird period to live since the beginning of the year, I still have something to be proud of that I’ve achieved this year. It’s like… Sure it’s a shitty year, but thankfully my situation doesn’t suck that hard.

I’ve lost some this year, but I’ve also gained other things that make me still feel good about my life. And with this year’s nature, doesn’t that sound like a blessing to have?!

Pivoting my potential business, and I end up doing it with the people that I trust and enjoy working with: my sister and my friend.

After my relationship came into turmoil, I took the leap and asked my sister and my friend whether they’d be interested in continuing my plan with my ex. Because honestly, most of the ideas came from me.

From the name of the business and the business models, it was all my brain so I really didn’t want to make them come to waste… That’s when the current Savviesticated began.

Yes, there were some changes from my initial business plan with my ex. Especially in the service part, since obviously with me, my sister, and my friend running it, none of us are experienced web developer or web designer so that we could prioritize those services less.

In exchange to that, our main service was in Social Media Management, which I’ve been doing for the past few years. And who would have thought? We got the first couple of clients just days after we launched our business.

We’ll close this year with only a client running, but I think it’s a good start given the idea we only just started in October. I would say, breaking up with my ex and canceling the plan to start a biz with him were actually a blessing in disguise.

business plan.
Source: Unsplash.

I’m somewhat better at my personal finance.

I had never been really good at managing money because I always felt broke all the time. These days, I think things are getting better since I’ve got multiple streams of income that basically support one and another.

Sure, with all the coronavirus and whatnot, things have been a bit rough in the past couple of months. But I’m trying my ass off to keep it together. Earlier this year, I only have two assistants who are basically my nephew and my cousin to help me with some social media management.

But now, I have 6 assistants under The BeauTraveler and it’s somewhat an achievement for me. As much as I feel broke, I’ve still got some money to spend somewhere so there’s nothing much to worry about, I guess.

Of course, I’m just hoping that things could get back to normal soon with the coronavirus and all that. But then again, I can only hope.

Some Things About This Year

Just today, one of the guys I used to hook up texted me to comment on my cat that I set to become an avatar. And then I noticed something… It’s literally almost a year since I had sex for just the fun of it. I don’t know if I can consider myself to be a better person that way, but maybe.

I mean, compared to the last few years, this year I’m really trying to be a better person. I’m still that selfish bitch you probably know last year, but then again I think I also try so hard to do things for others too.

The Diary of a Wimpy Kid.
Source: Unsplash.

I’m still trying to grow as an individual.

If there’s anything that taught me this year, it is to use my knowledge to benefit others. That is why I started my business to offer what I know best, and it is to do what I can do in digital marketing.

I enjoy what I do, and not only do I enjoy it for a living, I also want to be the enabler that could teach others how to do it too. Well, I’m not going the coach industry path, but that’s why I started my business at Savviesticated.

I know I can trust my sister and my friend to do the work, and so far we’ve been such a great team to run the company from scratch. I’m proud of them, as much as I’m proud myself.

Well, this year I’ve come to realize that I am in fact already that rich, single aunt. And while in the previous year I felt miserable to think that I may end up being alone, this year I wouldn’t mind to be that aunt if it means that I could give some learning opportunities for my nephew and my cousin.

2020 has been indeed very weird. But I figure what’s left behind this year is not all bad. There’s some good things that come out of it. Some others, I’m still working on it. I’m still working my best to get through it.

So, that’s how 2020 has been for me. It’s only 9 more days to 2021, how has this year been treating you? Share in the comment, and cheerio! 🙂


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