What I’ve Learned About Sex From Being Once a Serial Dater

Back when I was younger and naive, I thought I’d be the kind of person who’d stay pure until my wedding day. Fast forward to today, let’s all laugh together. I’ve seen some shit, I know some things, and clearly, I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks of me. Especially when it comes to the history of me being promiscuous.

But do I regret it? To be honest with you, nope… In fact, I’m glad that I’ve seen stuff to the point I have my lessons learned. And of course, sex is one of them.

What I've Learned About Sex From Being Once a Serial Dater - The BeauTraveler

Some Lessons Learned About Sex

If you knew me when I was 18, you’d probably find me crying over the fact that I had to dump my first ex because he cheated on me. It was all dramatic, given the idea I was a naive teenager who thought she lost her first love back in the days.

I thought I was worthless, as I live in Indonesia with some strong patriarchy values that made me believe that I’ve lost the most precious thing that I got as a woman: the virginity.

It took years for me to finally make peace with myself to understand that the most precious thing that I could have is to be my true self. And if I have to be sexually experienced, then let’s be it.

After all, now that I think about it, I suppose I’m glad that I won’t be that hopeless woman who keeps her virginity until her wedding day only to find out that her husband simply sucks at sex.

Source: Pexels.

1. There is actually a huge difference between having sex for the sake of sex and having sex for the sake of love.

You see, growing up with strong patriarchy values over here, I often heard this myth about how sex is all the same. No matter how bad it is, it’s still good.

Several guys that I’ve fucked later, I just have to laugh at the statement because it’s not true. Sex is sex, but the experience is different. And the matter of your feeling here plays quite a significant role.

Seriously, when the sex is bad, when you care about someone, it could only get better.

In the other hand, no matter how good the sex is with someone, when you don’t like him in the firsthand, chances are you have to think twice before hooking up with him again. That, unless you get really horny and you need sex to release your stress, that is. 😛

2. Size doesn’t really matter.

Well, I grew up with the myth about how when it comes to penis… The bigger the size, the better.

I mean, sure it matters if you’re somewhat a huge dick fetish. But I’m not. So I could only tell you that big size doesn’t really guarantee you good sex.  In fact, there are times when I had to deal with big penis, and I didn’t enjoy it at all.

While that’s the case, a micropenis isn’t any better either. I once hooked up with someone with a micropenis and frankly speaking, I could barely feel it inside me. It didn’t help that he was kinda lazy in bed too. So really, that gotta be my worst sex ever.

Size doesn’t really matter, but how you do it in bed does matter. And vice versa.

Source: Pexels.

3. Believe Them When They Say You Are What You Eat.

Nope, I’m not gonna try to persuade you to veganism. In fact, it’s often rewarding when you eat meat. LOL #punintended

So, let’s come clean here guys… I swallow.

And the reason why I could say that it’s legit when they say you are what you eat because from all I know, based on the people’s jizz that I’ve swallowed, they tasted better when they had healthy food.

Junk food is not your best friend when you want your partner to enjoy swallowing your junk. Instead, have some good fruit and eat your veggies. If there’s anything I’ve learned from my sexual experiment, pineapples make your junk taste sweet and delicious.

You are welcome.

4. It’s Okay to Tell Your Partner that He/She Sucks, As Long As You Give Some Constructive Feedback.

Well, if you only try to communicate the fact that he sucks without giving them any input, then you’re not helping at all. If anything, that’s the kind of things you do to destroy one’s self-esteem.

But then if you give him some feedback, it only means that you allow them to have an open discussion about your sex life. And if anything, it could only get you both better in sex and more understanding about each other.

Communication is important in any kind of relationship. Nevertheless, sex also needs the right kind of communication in order to satisfy both parties (or even more if you think about threesome LOL).

Source: Pexels.

5. Moan Out Loud When You Enjoy It.

It’s the easiest way to do to let your partner know that you truly enjoy what they do in bed.

I mean, there are times when the only way to communicate in bed is through moaning or howling. Come on, if you’ve had sex at least once… I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. 😛

6. You’ll Get Nothing From Fake Orgasm.

Honestly, I’ve been guilty of this long time ago. Faking orgasm just for the sake of making my partner happy. But guess what? You deserve happiness too. You deserve to come too. And when what they did isn’t enough to make you come, then for the love of God, stop faking it!

You deserve all sparks and glitters like what they get when the jizz comes out. If you don’t get it and you pretend to have it for the sake of your partner, there’s a long-term risk waiting ahead.

And I’m sure, no one wants to wait forever for the orgasm they deserve. Am I right?!

No Regret for the Sex I’ve Had. If Anything, I Feel Great.

You know what the other thing I’m familiar with about being a woman, growing up in this patriarchy system in Indonesia? The fact that we women have to excel in 3 things: grooming, cooking and procreating.

Perfection is a myth. You couldn’t have them all. So I suppose since I suck at cooking, I’d focus on the two things that I know I’m good at: grooming myself to look good and being wild in bed. 

And if my future husband don’t complain about it, then you shouldn’t.

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