3 days ago, my grandma has passed away.
She had been sick for 20++ years, in fact, if you asked me… I think I remember more of her being sick than when she was fit to get around. Being sick for so long, death was something that she had been waiting for so long.
We saw it coming, but apparently, it’s still difficult when the time arrived. Only one year and a week after Disco’s death.
She had spent most of her life with our family, and despite I couldn’t remember her vividly when she was still fit and healthy, I know there are some things that I’ve got from her.
Mak Onih, My Grandma during Her Lifetime
She was born in 1933. Her mom was a businesswoman, in which I think if there were some feminist values that I believe in, it was because my great grandma already having it during the Great Depression.
Like I said, she had been sick for so long that I could barely remember the time when she didn’t need a caretaker in her life. I mean, sure I got some pics of her being able to carry my baby sister with no problem. But I’ve lost most of my memories during that time.
If there’s anything I remember from her, it was her patience as she always cracked the sunflower seeds for me when I was a kid. You know that stuff that you just couldn’t stop once you started eating it? Well, less effort for me to enjoy it 20 years ago, as my grandma always had it ready for me.
Her beauty was still reflected, even when she was already sick. And she was the living proof of why there’s no excuse to ‘normalize’ Alzheimer as most Indonesian people do.
She got sick for more than 20 years, but she still got fairly good memory even until her late days. She knew where she put the money, or how to talk properly about some stories with people around her. She never had a problem with memorizing stuff.
The 3 Things I’ve Got from My Late Grandma
Like I previously said, we saw it coming. In fact, we were so ready when worse comes to worst. I know death was something she had been longing for so long.
A few years ago when I lost my aunt, my Dad had to deliver the news to her and the first thing she did was crying out loud asking God why she had to overlive her daughter. It was the reason why I cried out when it happened.
1. Her Love of Books
My grandma was an avid reader. She could read anything from comics, magazines to even novels. I think until I was on the 6th grade, I always bought some books which I’d eventually share with her because she also wanted to read it too.
If anything, my Mom always said that I’ve got my love of books from my Grandma. And I’m thankful for it, because reading makes me who I am today.
And I think I’m lucky that I had her as a role model to make my love of books grow. I remember when she used to sit down around the kitchen, casually reading things from newspaper or novel.
2. Her Sex Appeal
I’m quite sure she had always got it all along. As I said, her beauty still reflected even when she got sick. But I think there’s no need to question her beauty when she was younger.
Her favorite outfit for every occasion was kebaya, and she wasn’t afraid to show the sex appeal she had. She wasn’t really into makeup like I am, but she was indeed fashionable.
I may not be into wearing kebaya in a daily basis, but just like her… I also love to dress up when I get a chance.
3. Her Good Memory
Even when she was sick, it’s like she never lost her ability to memorizing stuff in details. For everything.
I once overheard my grandma asking my mom whether she still had sex with my dad as she was a bit concerned with the fact that my mom spent most of her time taking care of her.
She cares about others, but sometimes people take it the wrong way. But it’s just her being her. Just like what I do to the others.
The First Few Days After She’s Gone
As bad as it sounds, I think death was the best thing that finally happened to her. Not because I wanted her to go, but it was because I’ve seen her being sick for so long. I’m just glad that she finally released the suffering.
No more suffering for her. No more complaining about why she wasn’t the one going first whenever she received some death news from hometown.
Rest well, may she have the best place surrounded by your loved ones Up There.
Requiescat in Pace, Mak Onih.