Time flies so fast that the next thing I know, it’s already December!
I started my 2018 with grief as Disco, my 12-year-old cat, had to go back and forth to the vet due to tuberculosis. He didn’t make it to my 29th birthday as he died on the 24th of January this year.
This year has been up and down, that’s for sure. The first few months in this year was quite challenging for me, with me quitting my office job last year with no sign of constant income whatever. Externally, with me getting older, my peers would expect me to have the life as everyone else: create my own family.
Well, neither I am a millionaire nor I am married or starting to think about creating a family on my own now, but at least I’ve got a few lessons learned this year.
2018 at a Glance
Either way, I’m pretty sure you understand by now that for me, life often works in such a mysterious way that things got a bit bumpy no matter how good I think I’ve planned it out for myself. That’s the annoying part about not being a millionaire, btw. 😛
If there’s anything I should be thankful for my life, it is probably my ‘fuck it’ attitude. I mean, sure I’m not the sweetest person that I know, or I’m not the kind of person who would spread positive vibes in the room but damn I’m the kind of person who would curse and try to find a way out from some unpleasant situation.
And so far, I’m glad that things started taking in place. I mean, I’m not a millionaire yet, but at least there’s no need for me to get stressful to make my ends meet these days.
Some Things I’ve Learned in 2018
Just like all the years I’ve lived in my 29 years living in this world, 2018 is not that fantastic. I mean, unless you’re deadly rich or terribly poor, life is just a mediocre stuff for you to get by each day. That’s the thing I’ve learned from living as a part of middle-class society.
But, despite being mediocre, I could always make my life useful to learn a thing or two from what has happened in my life. So, here they go!
1. The Lesson to Accept Loss and Move On.
As I mentioned before, I started 2018 with grief as my beloved kitty cat Disco got terribly sick earlier this year. And I would be lying if I told you that my life didn’t go downhill ever since he passed away.
Imagine you had to struggle from facial tics disorder, and then you lost your cat who was practically your best friend slash your soulmate with almost no money in your bank account. That’s what happened to my life earlier this year.
Things got a little rough.
And if you think Disco was the only one I’ve lost this year, then you’re wrong… Because recently, I’ve lost Disco’s offspring, Chiban. Even worse, because I never find out what has happened to him. Whether he’s got stolen or he died, I didn’t know what happened. The only thing I knew is that he never comes back home. 🙁
I’ve done everything I could. From the classic post on all my social media handles, to print out the flyers but there’s no sign of him coming back. Those are the two greatest loss I’ve got this year.
Almost everyone who knows me would know that my cats matter too much for me, and sometimes even more than my family. And I had to cope with the loss for quite some time, before finally accepting the reality.
There are times when I’m alone and I caught up with the idea of Disco and Chiban. Sometimes I even tear up for a bit, but I hope… I hope it’s for the better me.
2. The Lesson to Take Things Slow.
If there’s anything I’ve learned about myself this year is that I tend to force myself to do everything in a rush. In result, I rarely have time to enjoy the process as I always aim to finish it pronto.
And yes, that applies to almost every aspect of my life in the past.
I tend to work fast just so I could catch up with other stuff I need to do at work. I make some poor decision faster, just because I want to see how it goes without thinking about the risk.
That’s when I realized that maybe I gotta learn how to live slowly and enjoy the process to see how it goes. And that’s what I started doing earlier this year, and so far it has treated me very well.
When I take things slow, I see how it works out and I could even see the flaws that might have some space for improvements. I could see the alternatives and that way, my creativity gets awaken for a bit.
And that’s a good thing, because now I can even explore some parts of opportunities that I never saw before.
3. The Lesson to Take One Step at a Time.
It’s not just once or twice that I got this envious feeling when I saw my friends’ post strolling around Europe.
There are times when I had to question myself why is it that my promiscuous friend could finally get her own happy ending with someone who genuinely loves her, when I’m here sitting all by myself without having a bad reputation myself. Why is it that life’s so unfair?!
But then I’m trying to understand this concept about how everyone will come to the time of their lives, no matter what.
The key is to always take one step at a time. Maybe my step is smaller than some of my friends, and that’s okay. For that, it is the process that is important.
4. The Lesson to Stand Up for Myself.
If I had a dollar everytime some non-relevant family members remind me of my biological clock and how I’m not married, I’d catch up with Mark Zuckerberg to hang out with other millionaires.
I’ve come from a family who sees marriage as an achievement for women, thanks to this patriarchal society I was born in.
I could never change where I come from, but then I could at least stand up for myself to show them that sometimes what they think is right doesn’t really apply for everybody. And maybe that doesn’t work for me. Or maybe it does, only the process is not as quick as they desire.
Just last holiday seasons, some aunt came to my house and they started to remind me how people my age already start their own family. Some younger cousins got married, and some relative thinks it’s okay to hand me for a ‘marriage’ just because he thinks I’m unwanted, hence I’m still single.
When you get surrounded by this kind of people, the best thing I could do is just to stand up for myself. At this point, my mom couldn’t save me as she low key agrees with other too. And for this, I should thank my ‘fuck it’ attitude all over again.
5. The Lesson to Understand How Surprising Life Could Be.
I don’t even have to live my own life to learn some lesson. With more free time that I’ve got, the more stories from my close friends that I could listen to. And more often than not, more life lesson that I’ve learned from them.
One of them that I’ve heard and seen for myself is about how life could be so surprising.
I’ve got a friend who’s been married for a couple of years, they tried for babies when she got diagnosed something that basically let her down. Things went downhill from there, as she caught up her husband cheating on her.
Things got rough for her to the point that she started talking about divorce. One night she came home drunk and eventually had sex with her husband. She got pregnant. Life has worked in a mysterious way, that the event gave everybody a second chance.
And from just listening to their story while seeing them happy for trying to challenge what life has thrown them, I couldn’t help myself to not believe in miracles.
How Has 2018 Treated You?
So, those are the life lessons that I’ve learned this year. Now that 2019 is approaching, I’m not so sure whether resolution is still a thing now that I know life could be deadly surprising. 😛
But anyway, so how has 2018 treated you? Did you learn any lesson this year? Share your thoughts, and cheerio! 😀