*Disclaimer: this post is only based on personal experience. Hence, personal opinion all over.
I am a hopeless romantic who have tried a lot of dating apps throughout my 20s. Honestly, there were times in my life where I downloaded some random dating app just for the sake of boredom. Some led to disappointment, while other actually worked and led to a freaking good date, if not to an effin’ real romance.
Currently, I no longer have any dating app on my phone but then again I had used a few of them to fluently tell you the difference about one among the others. Do I have a sad life? No, not really. That’s why I’m here for you, buddies… To tell you stories. :p
The list of dating apps that I will write on this post is solely based on my experience only, and here I will write the apps that I like the most.
Why? Check this out!
From all dating apps that I have ever used throughout my 20s, I think it’s fair to say that OKCupid is the one that I like the most.
Maybe it’s because I love rambling over the internet, so here I can actually write down everything in details about myself to see if there’s anyone actually interested in some witty girl as I am.
Fun fact: I got appreciated for numerous reasons here, whether it is because I wrote the fact that I love Full House or they were intrigued with my message not to ask me out because I prefer sleeping to going out on Friday night.
I think their feature helps to actually match with people that not only are attracted to you for your pictures but also interested in how you describe yourself in the picture. Plus, it’s all free!
Okay, so the annoying part is that anyone could actually send you a message there to the point you often get messages from random spam and sometimes even perverts. But then again, you could always ignore them.
If I could choose just one dating app, I would totally choose OKCupid over anything because that’s how much I love this app!
This app actually connected me with some interesting guys that I’ve met. One of them is Aaron, with whom I had a random date in Saigon. I remember the first message that I got from him was the question whether I could relate to Kimmy Gibbler. *lol*
Other than that, the guys that I met on OKC are not those that are only after one night stand or sex only. Well, at least most of them. For example, I still talk to Pete, the Australian guy I met through OKC who I have never even met in person.
Despite the fact that it’s a dating app, turned out OKC could help me to gain some good friends as well. Pete and I have known each other for 1++ years since the first time we matched on OKC, and he’s been there to listen to me ranting when I got depressed with my previous job.
There’s also this guy called Cata who I met last year and hooked up on the first date only to find out we’ve actually got a mutual friend despite he’s a Romanian living in Singapore and I’m an Indonesian trying to survive in Jakarta. With the good conversation on the date (we end up having 2 more dates after the first one)
and the good sex, I think I should thank OKC for that? Hmm.
The last but not least is this guy called Josh who lives in Japan, and I messaged him solely because we matched above 90% according to OKC. He and I kept lurking on each other’s profile until I decided to send him something like, “Hey, you’re my top match on OKC and for some reasons you keep viewing my profile without the guts to say hi first, so hi?”
Four months later, we started talking on Line. A few months after that, we’ve become friends on Facebook and we keep talking about stuff from some random meme to US Election. A year and a half later, who would have thought he got some work that sent him to Indonesia for a night and we finally met in person?
Honestly though, when I think about it I have a lot of things to thank OKC for.
The first time I downloaded eHarmony, it was only because of curiosity because I already tried OKC and Tinder. I know there’s something different about eHarmony compared to the other dating apps, but I just noticed that we could only use the whole features on the apps if we paid for the service.
So how it works is that it will match you with some guys in your region and then you could start the steps to get to know each other based on what you like, etc. After that, you can ask each other questions provided by the site before you can actually write a personal question to your match.
As I used the trial version only, I couldn’t even see the picture of the guys I interacted with back then. And things would get stuck as I couldn’t send them a message as I was a non-paid member. So this paid app is probably not for me.
Like, I want to get on a date once in awhile but then I’m not that desperate to pay for getting one.
The one and only person that I ended up getting further than just ghosting out because I’m not a non-paid member is this guy called Max, a Londoner based in Singapore.
I think the way we matched was a universe conspiracy. Haha.
So I got matched with Max when I already found out about the trick of using eHarmony in the first place, which actually demotivated me to use it even further. But then when we started our interaction on the app, eHarmony got somewhat a promo to send a free message to our match for a short period.
Long story short, we matched a few things and we asked each other questions whose answers we could tolerate, and then I only had this opportunity to send a free message to him. So I told him that I didn’t pay for eHarmony service and I asked whether he wouldn’t mind to give me his e-mail address to speak further.
As it turned out, he gave me his WhatsApp number instead and told me that I could text him whenever I want on the app. It was so fast, and I just found out that not only he’s a paid member for the service (are you really that desperate to get laid, Max? lol) but he has also seen my picture the first time we connected on eHarmony.
So basically, he started talking to me because of my face when really I didn’t know what I got myself into. Haha.
A month later, after I got stressed with work and everything, he surprisingly bought me a ticket to have a short holiday trip with him to Yangon. He picked me up at Changi and I stayed the night at his place before we took off to Burma the next day. It was an amazing 3-day holiday for me. Quite hectic, but fun.
The rest was history, but he’s the only person I had gone for date in 3 different countries. All was great.
I think Tinder is the most popular dating app amongst other. I honestly don’t know why. Or maybe I do, I don’t know. Haha.
So as most of you probably know already, Tinder let you swipe right if you like their picture and a brief description on their profile. You could also swipe left to skip them, and the last time I opened my Tinder account, they now also have a super like feature to let that person know that you really like them without having to match with each other first.
On the good ol’ day of Tinder, we could only find out whether anyone liked us by the time we matched with them. Then, you could start texting each other to get further.
Honestly, I’m not a big fan of Tinder. As shallow as it sounds, I think Tinder is something you would like only if you’re after casual sex. And it always happened with me and those guys I met on Tinder. Most of them, I couldn’t connect with them except for the sex.
Well yeah, once in awhile I need casual sex too so Tinder could come handy at times.
The only person that I got a bit further than just a casual sex was this guy called David. I stayed the night when I came to Jakarta for a friend’s wedding and then we genuinely talked after we hooked up that night.
We talked a lot to the point I thought we could make it work, and he even made it obvious when he came to Bandung for a short holiday with me.
The next thing I knew? He was actually already dating another girl when he came to Bandung for a holiday with me.
I found out about Coffee Meets Bagel from my boss who was then trying to use the app to get a date. She said that it was rather fun to see who’s available around.
So, the difference of Coffee Meets Bagel compared to the other apps is that it limits the user to interact with other users. The silver lining of using this app is that you won’t waste your time scrolling through the apps swiping. That’s one.
Messaging feature will be available once you match with another user, but only for a period of time because once the time’s up and you don’t send each other message, then it’s all gone. Pretty much like Tinder with a curfew, I suppose.
Coffee Meets Bagel Experience
Okay, I can’t say that I’m an expert on the app because I only had one date through this app, and he wasn’t my favorite. You know, the kind of person you wouldn’t bother to have another date.
I don’t know, maybe it’s the age difference that’s become the issue (he was in his 40s), but there was nothing much to talk about during our lunch date. And I was kinda happy to see my friend when we finally said goodbye.
I mean, he was okay. It was just the date got really dry with nothing much to talk about as he was a big fan of JKT48 and despite the fact that he was Italian, he couldn’t really understand me when I tried to connect by talking about football. So it was just plain weird.
Dating apps can be fun at times, it depends on your preference I suppose.
For me, despite being a serial dater as I am, I like to actually connect with the person. Not only through conversation, but also through text messages. That’s why OKC and eHarmony have become my to-go dating apps. They help me connect with people who know how to handle a conversation. It’s great.
As for now, I don’t use any other apps although I don’t guarantee that I will not reinstall it. But yeah, the good thing is that I am content with my life right now to the point that I don’t consider using dating app really necessary.
But then again, who knows what future beholds me right? So, keep on searching for the right one! 😀
-Marya The BeauTraveler-